I often encounter women who think they suffer from low self-esteem. They lack the boldness required to succeed, they say. They think they are too busy to pursue their dreams and goals, too broke, too stressed or that the timing isn’t right. They doubt their skills. They have kids with demands on their time.
Sometimes I even tell myself some these things.
But I know better. My excuses no longer rule my life.
All of the above is just glorified FEAR. Reasons and excuses are ways we can feel better about staying small and not living life on our own terms. It would SUCK having to own up to simply “being too afraid”.
We all have super tricky subconscious minds, that try to outsmart us all the time. The LAST thing we want to do, is to confess (even to ourselves) that in fact, we totally, really, already DO have all the inner resources we need to live a life we love because that would require us to step out of the shadows and live life boldly.
What do you think happens when people get clear on what they’d LOVE to experience? What do you think is a super common reaction once the coaching session is over and it’s time to IMPLEMENT some of those fantastic things we all know we need to do in order to get one step closer to our goals?
If we are talking in terms of business growth here, or even simply a decision to eat better, you have a session with your coach, you come up with a solid plan you KNOW will get you to where you want to be, maybe you’ve even scheduled your action steps and know what to do when… but you get derailed. You get sidetracked, shiny object syndromed, peer pressured and you just don’t follow through.
Fear, that’s why. You gave your power to fear, and neglected to do what you clearly KNOW is the smarter choice. Fear masquerading around as a perfectly good reason, but trust me, it’s still fear (just dig a little deeper and you’ll see what I mean).
As your coach in this situation, I will pull out all the reasons it’s more important for you to feel that fear and do it anyway than it is to back off from your dreams. I’ll remind you of your most meaningful reasons to pursue your goals and dreams and stick to your plans. I know that your work, your actions, your health, your business growth can make a big dent in the Universe.
This goal, your most outrageous, unlikely, pie in the sky dream needs to be the magnet that will pull you toward it. I do NOT subscribe to the SMART goals that you’ve been so brainwashed to follow. I help people to think big. Huge. Bigger. Until they feel so jazzed up that they can’t stop themselves from doing whatever it takes in order to get closer to achieving their dreams, certainly a little fear or some inconvenience won’t stop them. This, your deepest desire, is the reason you are here. Reconnect with that passion, uncover your purpose and remember what it feels like to live a deeply meaningful life.
But, they say, these women with the most amazing dreams and the potential to end world hunger, and solve all of the world’s other problems too, what if I burn out? What if I don’t have the energy? What if I start down this path and the passion burns me? I can’t just work all the time. I can’t be this obsessed? Can I have balance?
Hmm.. I say.. that sounds a lot like FEAR. Again.
That’s when I bring out the big guns. Planning. Trivial-sounding planning. I do this because these women are terrified of feeling out of control. They fear the unknown. If the plans aren’t SMART enough, and in bite-sized chunks, and attached to both accountability and rewards, they will once again retreat.
That’s the other super common reason that amazing and brilliant women trip themselves up. They don’t know how to plan. They claim to value freedom, they say their time is not their own, they throw their hands up in the air and say that time-management is not a strength of theirs. Ofcourse it’s not. You can’t manage time. It’s impossible. What we CAN manage is ourselves and how we show up in the world.
When you take a closer look at that pie in the sky dream, you realize that it’s not as impossible as it sounds. If you can perceive it, you can achieve it. With clear plans, a solid strategy, a mastermind or a coach on your team you can and will get this done.
The masterclass today builds on last week’s masterclass (or in Swedish right here) and breaks planning and strategies down into the actual, bite-sized chunks you NEED to plan in order to be able to take action in the face of fear.
Action cures fear – ONLY if you know your next steps. The moment you hesitate and you’re not feeling totally clear on your next steps, you’ll lose that momentum and your confidence along with it.
Allow the following video – 20 minutes – to transform you. TRY this. I have seen it work miracles time and time again.