In this video, I will show you how quickly and easily you can change your mindset and become a confident person within minutes. Just because you’ve been dealing with low levels of confidence throughout your life, you don’t have to continue to hold onto that. Confidence is just a habit. Make it yours!
A while ago I had a conversation with my friend Dorotea Petterson, personal planner of www.dorro.se. In fact, it was just after I had written a Facebook post about “reaching your highest potential”. Dorotea said something along the lines of “all this talk about reaching your highest potential – that’s just ridiculous. Someone’s highest potential is a fluctuating value, depending on the day.” I couldn’t agree more, but I never usually pause to clarify what I mean when I use that term.
A person’s highest potential will never be known to them. We evolve on a daily basis. The only thing constant is change. Unless we keep growing and learning and yes – improving – upon the perfection that we already are, we will shrink. Staying the same is not an option. Nothing stays the same. It’s a change for the better or change for the worse.
This doesn’t mean that life is a constant struggle and needs to be a fight for some elusive “better”. Life is good. We are definitely good enough – every single one of us.
But (yes, I’m about to contradict myself) unless we intentionally decide to keep pursuing our highest potential until we die – we won’t feel fulfilled. We will always have a restless “knowing” that we are capable of so much more.
The beautiful thing is that it doesn’t have to be a struggle. At all. Seeking and pursuing self-improvement and one’s highest potential doesn’t have to be difficult or boring. It doesn’t involve involuntary hustle or crazy amounts of willpower.
All you need to know is how to hack your habits. It takes NO willpower to do something out of habit.
Most people probably think of habits as eating habits, biting one’s fingernails, the route we drive to work and what time we go to sleep – but habits go way deeper than that.
Most of our thoughts are completely habitual. What we think, our internal voice, how we speak to ourselves, all those things are just habits. Ponder that for a sec. That’s pretty huge. You are not born with habits, you develop them, and you are free to change.
Our thoughts determine our feelings and our actions. It’s what we think about certain things that cause our reactions to life. It’s not our circumstances that determine our quality of life – it’s our choices, our decisions, our actions.
If we can change a thought habit – if we can reprogram our self-talk – we can change our lives.
The way to make this almost effortless is to get good at habit hacking. Once something has become a habitual thought or action we don’t even have to think about it anymore. It’s just something we do, without agony or stress.
Do you want to become someone who works out regularly? Eats healthy foods? Has solid self-confidence? Feels good about themselves? Looks forward to a new day? Feels grateful for life? Is a good friend? Reads books?
You name it, I bet you can create that habit!
I have compiled a list of different ways you and I can choose to change some habits, including habitual thoughts.
♥ Schedule it and commit to developing a new habit. Give yourself a month. Make it a DAILY thing. Go all in during that first month.
♥ Consistency is KEY. Even if you’re not working on a thought but trying to develop a habit of working out – workout every day for that month (you don’t have to go crazy with the workouts, but break a sweat at the gym every day). If you’re working on thoughts and thoughts you don’t want to think anymore (thoughts that produce feelings of inadequacy for example) be prepared with thoughts you can think instead, such as an affirmation. Every time you notice that you are putting yourself down, you just stop that thought in its tracks and think your affirmation instead. As many times as it takes.
♥ Surround yourself with visual reminders. Write sticky notes. Schedule reminders on your phone.
♥ Create routines. Go to the gym the same time every day. Drink that extra glass of water at the same time and place every day. Replace a negative thought with that same affirmation.
♥ Tell the world about your project. Or at least someone who can help remind you, encourage you and maybe come along for the ride. Create accountability.
♥ Replace a bad habit with something better. If you have decided to stop watching TV, maybe you learn to meditate instead? If you need to kick your sugar habit, maybe drink a glass of water and go for a short walk if the cravings are bad? Instead of fighting the craving or the habit – do something else.
♥ When you start thinking that you don’t want to do this experiment anymore or otherwise try to put yourself down… and you’re not feeling like repeating those affirmations… you can simply just hijack that thought and finish it YOUR way. So if you’re thinking “I really, suck at that, I should just stay home and never speak up…” add to that “…but I am getting better at it the more I try. I’m giving myself permission to keep trying.” (Hijack the sentence and put a positive spin on it.)
♥ Remove tempting situations and foods from your life for just 30 days (as much as possible). This is true for sugar as well as people.
♥ Send some time thinking about people who already embody what you want. Go where they go. Do what they do. Read what they read.
♥ Be lighthearted about this. It’s just an experiment. If you don’t like it after 30 days, go back to your old ways. But go ALL in for 30 days.
♥ Swish. This is an NLP technique that is SUPER effective. Watch my video in this blog to change that habit NOW. (the video is specific to confidence but the same method works for any habit or thought pattern)
♥ Write a story about yourself in the future, having developed this new habit or broken an old one. Explain your perfect day in a life, 5 years from now, that is so much better now that you have new habits. The process of writing is important. You can’t just think your way to the effect actual writing (pen and paper) has on your brain.
♥ Think about the contrast you don’t want. What happens if you don’t change? (And then reread your story about you in the future, to end on a positive note.)
♥ Do it for you. Because you are worth it. As an act of self love and self respect, pick out a few positive habits and positive thought patterns that you’d like to develop.